A couple of days ago I shared an article on the campus network about how to confirm one’s identity as gay, and a friend wrote back saying the social pressure was too much, that she wasn’t going to be a “T” anymore, that she felt it wasn’t sustainable. It reminded me of a case that went the opposite way — a video that circulated online a few years back, in which a sixteen-year-old boy said he’d realized he was gay at age eleven, and that it was precisely this identity that had made him stronger, more attentive to others, and through it he’d found “the brilliance of life.”

Some historians agree that history doesn’t allow for hypotheticals; in the same way, sexual orientation cannot be hypothesized either (though, that said, sexual orientation is a deeply subjective matter — in other words, you can become whatever type you want to become). So, whether it’s my friend’s words or the words in that video, to me, neither carries enough persuasive force. We cannot use the fixed perspective that comes with one identity to guess at or speculate about other identities. Plenty of people think gay men are sissies or gay women are tomboys — and this absurd mistake comes precisely from peering at homosexuality through the lens of a heterosexual identity!

A little over a year ago, after If You Are the One came out, Li Yinhe published an essay reflecting on it. In it, she pointed out that homosexual characters could be cast as the protagonist — the “hero” — in films with otherwise general subject matter. This looks, on the surface, like a positive social model, one that could change how the public views homosexuality, but to my mind there are still some problems with it.

There certainly are “heroes” among gay people (quite a few brilliant designers and photographers fall into this category), but in certain senses society manages to sidestep this entirely. The public, for instance, always seems to associate gay people with AIDS. Someone’s otherwise “special” gay identity gets dragged into public view only because it’s been linked to a disease. The identity of being gay is so often presented in a way that tilts toward death — truly an unspeakable sorrow!

What’s more, pinning the arduous task of reversing public consciousness on film and television isn’t a particularly reliable approach — any character, however formed, goes through “countless” rounds of polishing and revision, and this is true not just for the great and famous, but for minor figures as well. An overly polished, overly dressed-up image of homosexuality might end up draining away even our most basic compassion and sympathy.

So in what way should the identity of being gay actually be represented? That’s not a question I’m in a position to answer. But plenty of people in everyday life offer us inspiration — like the deaf-mute performers of the Thousand-Hand Guanyin dance on the Spring Festival Gala years ago, who moved everyone through their grueling training. In the same way, as a group that mainstream society tends to sidestep, gay people should come to understand, respect, and continually perfect themselves. Yes — the man-made Jesus isn’t going to save you. Only self-salvation will.